BUFFALO, NY – General Manager Tim Murray announced on Thursday the team has signed Hall of Famer Dominik Hasek to be their shootout goalie.
“I know he’s older now but Jesus Christ, Lehner can’t stop a single puck. Not one fucking puck in these shootouts” said a frustrated Murray.
Murray insists expectations are realistic and isn’t looking for any miracles.
“We don’t need to win every shootout but c’mon. At least be .500? That’s not asking a lot. Be mediocre and we probably get into the playoffs And who knows, maybe Robin can learn a thing or two and not completely piss all over himself when an opposing player skates in all alone”.